Hi there, remember me? I know, I know I’ve been gone for a while. A little lost in the fog you could say.
This past spring something happened that I didn’t ever expect to see. My Love for design was beginning to drift.
What I thought I wanted for my design business to look like when I started my blog 3 years ago, and what I actually need as a individual, mom, wife, and friend ending up being different. That’s the funny thing about starting a business from the ground up. What you know at the time, what you think you know about yourself and what you need are really, truly different things.
Things I learned about myself this summer. Or should I say learning to live with.
1. I am a workaholic. – Born and raised on a farm if there was work that needed to be done, you did it. No matter how tired you were. This has been engraved in me. I’ve spent the last 4 months learning to be kinda of lazy. Learning to leave things awhile and ‘tomorrows another day’ attitude. I’ve learnt that life is about a peaceful feeling that I cannot get from money. I felt the most peaceful this summer when I knew that my kids were by my side versus my phone being stuck to my ear all day.
2. What I do and how I pay my bills has nothing to do with who I am as an individual – I am a creative person that honestly gets tired of doing the same thing over and over, and I thrive on change with certain aspects of my life. It’s the reason that Darryl (my hubby, photographer, web guy) and I do a variety of things to bring money into our home to support our family. Some would say that this type of life is winding and unsure, but we find it to be the most fulfilling. We enjoy the aspects of freelance work that provides us the chance to determine when we work, and how much. It leaves an available feeling for our community. It leaves us time to be lazy on a Thursday afternoon as I drink my coffee at star Bucks.
3. Parts of the Design Business provide me no satisfaction – Stress is one of the main things that I am learning to leave behind when it comes to my job. Now please don’t misunderstand me when I say this… I’m not saying that I should walk around not watching the clock, being tardy all the time, or lacking in responsibility for those around me. I felt that in today’s world that stress in my life is just what’s expected, my hands are tied. I’m slowly breaking that mold or status quo that tells me other wise. Extreme stress in my life has no power over me, and I feel no guilt. Not from anyone.
I honestly didn’t know what to do with these feelings. I knew it was time to take a break. Take a break from my computer, cell phone, tape measures, and samples. I found out that when I stripped my summer of all the stresses of work for a while, adding time with my family on the beach, sleeping in till 8:00 each day is truly what I needed. It’s what my family needed.
My daughter turned 9 this year, and my son is 6. How they see me live my life is more important than what the world thinks I should be. I am honored to work alongside local people and regular people just like me. This is what gives me the most joy. Helping people to live intentional in their lives and to enjoy their homes, helping them live out what makes them unique which in turn helps us all carve out time for the things that matter the most to us.
Thank you for sharing in this journey with me.